Real lessons

**Collingwood** · 07-03-2019, 12:19 AM

Lesson got disrupted. We weren't able to get our standard roleplay going, then 'Sir' came out, for want of a better expression, that he wanted me to spank him, and from now on wanted us both to switch roles. Afternoon went quite well but we have now decided to drop the lessons. It clearly is not going to work any longer between us. It might be worth a separate discussion thread...what to do if a spanking partner decides that they want to change roles.

Originally Posted by jaybo

Enjoy your lessons
Look forward to hearing how you got on :-)

jaybo · 07-03-2019, 05:39 AM

Oh dear
Do you not feel up to switching so you both get a turn as spanker/spankee?
It's a difficult one if both of you both want to be the recipient
I hope you can work something out!
Best of luck!

**Collingwood** · 07-03-2019, 07:59 PM

Thanks Jaybo . We both took it turns to be the recipient. Will meet up again. But will start looking for another 'Sir' .

jaybo · 07-03-2019, 09:35 PM

Oh that's good!
It must be difficult enough to find a person who meets the criteria that works for you.
I'm sure you'll find someone that fits the bill
Best wishes Jaybo :-)

**StrictTop** · 08-03-2019, 10:42 AM

Interesting one. Seems a bit odd to me that he threw that at you in the middle of a meeting, and particularly so after a number of sessions. It definitely throws the roleplay out of the window when you wanted and expected a strict "Sir". He should have indicated this long ago, in conversation outside a meet, if he was going to want to switch sometimes. Even if he has recently changed, he shouldn't be introducing the idea at that point. He could have talked about it with you after the roleplay was over, to prepare for a future meet.

Quite understand how the dynamic would no longer work for you now. Some people can play with switches so long as the sessions individually are "one-way" (maybe take turns over a series of sessions) but can't switch within a session, and I understand that. But when you want a dominant, or a roleplay teacher/boy session, you don't want to switch with them (even if you do with others).
In general, no-one should be introducing new ideas in a session like that, and it breaks down the trust between people.

In fact it shows that you can't trust that person and you wouldn't want to go back as you don't know what "else" they might suggest in the future. I wouldn't ever go within 10 miles of that person again.
I have also heard horror stories from men who thought they were just going to a "master" for punishment/caning and then the Sir wanted sexual favours too - one said to one guy "this is part of your punishment". Fortunately I was told that his intended victim did escape - by leaving immediately. Again, it had been introduced in a second or third session, as I recall. Quite unacceptable.

jaybo · 08-03-2019, 12:46 PM

I think it's vital to make it perfectly clear to the top what the hard limits are straight away.
Otherwise it's a waste of everyone's time.
:-)

**Collingwood** · 13-03-2019, 04:28 PM

Greetings , sorry for the delay in responding. I have been away. Thanks Strictop & Jaybo for your comments.

It is an awkward situation when this chap who seemed to be sharing my enthusiasm for role play changes their mind, especially when we were about to start such activity that very afternoon. Looking back, it would have been a lot better if they had phoned me beforehand and explained the situation. I will keep in contact with him.
Indeed, when it comes to sexual intimacy, nobody should be coerced in any way to feel that they are obliged to take part. Certainly when I started to explore the world of spanking and CP got out of my depth a couple of times. I took risks, and have to take responsibility for doing so. But certainly would argue that limits have to be respected, and nobody should feel at fault for saying no.

jaybo · 14-03-2019, 12:20 PM

Spot on sentiments Collingwood
Especially so if being the dominant partner in play really isn't the chief motivating force in a session.
Saying that it must be lovely to be in a switching relationship with a kindred partner!!
Good luck!

**Collingwood** · 02-05-2020, 09:31 PM

Still interested in discussing lessons and spanking punishments, and trying them again once lockdown has come to an end. I have met people on line who are interested in line-writing and corner time , but find it hard to get the dynamic going without seeing them in person.