Hello and thanks for dropping by. Pull up a chair and I'll pour you a cup of tea. I hope you like Lady Grey? It's my favourite type - delicate, flowery and refined, just like myself really. Pardon me, how do you take it? Sugar, milk, lemon? Have a slice of date & walnut cake too, I bake it myself. It's just another example of my multi-faceted talents. I'm flattered that someone has travelled from so far away as the Andromeda Galaxy, just to visit me. It just shows the true power and universal appeal of the internet, doesn't it? However, I'm most shocked to hear about the weird practices that take place on your planet. Do you mean to say that females, on Miramar, voluntarily drop their panties so their bare bottoms can be spanked by strangers? I can't believe it. How strange and most unsettling. I'm glad such sordid things don't happen here on Earth... by the way, I must ask you before I forget, when did you say the next shuttle leaves for Miramar? Well it's been really nice meeting you. Before you go, perhaps you would be so kind as to undo the straps on my straight-jacket so that I can get on with the washing up?