psychology of cp

[Ipswichspankee]

I guess I am lucky(?) as I get a hard when self spanked or spanked by someone else (either sex). I guess it is a pain and reward thing!

[jaybo]

It's probably a guilt thing my head is all over the place at times xx

[Titanites]

Then a good spanking should assuage your guilt.

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Seems to be, Ipswichspankee, if the reward is the same for both self-spanking and being spanked by another. I think this is similar for me, to an extent anyway.

[jaybo]

Yeah maybe just having a blue day ...guilt tripping on my vices , I will be fine...after a whacking xx

[Ben]

What a very interesting thread.

I guess we are all different, but for me there are three definite stages: The Anticipation, The Act, The End...

The Anticipation
Even though I have the same Mistress every time, we still act out the fanatasy each time that I arrive and I'm met by a "Receptionist" (who is actually the Dominatrix herself and acting the part. She is always dressed in smart/chic everyday wear and the interview is in her drawing room with no sign of her alter ego. She sits me down and we have tea and she listens to me explain what turns me on; she sometimes asks me to flick through a copy of DDI Magazine and point out who I think is the best Dominatrix and why. Eventually, when she feels it is time, she asks me to stand up and face her. It is obvious from my 'discomfort' that I am finding things hard.... and she pretends not to notice, but she tells me that I need help and only a session with "A Strict Bitch" will work, and I am made to wait (still standing) while she "checks if the lady is available".... This usually involves her picking up the 'phone and "talking to the Dominatrix and telling her she has a client and asking if she will please agree to grant him a session, as he needs helpd even though Mistress is maybe busy".
When she puts the 'phone down I am told: (i) That I am lucky and Mistress will deal with me, (ii) That the Mistress is being very severe today and the last client was reduced to tears, so if I cannot take a severe caning, I should say now and leave, as the Mistress is an abolute BITCH (iii) On the basis that I agree, I am told to go to the special room and get myself ready.
Getting ready involves an enema, a shower and dressing up in whatever has been laid out on the bed. I then wait for The Mistress to arrive.

The Act
After a wait the door opens and Mistress walks in, she is of course the very same lady, but has changed out of her cream business suit and transformed herself into a Bitch in Black Leather and invariable holds a cane. I am told to stand up and follow her.... She takes me to the Punishment Chamber and once there she gives me whatever punishment she chooses, but it is severe and involves OTK, the tawse and the cane and usually some other things....

The End
At the end and when she feels I have had enough strokes, I am made to kneel at her feet to say thank you, and whilst she is still in total control, she does make demands that I carry out, although even with her being the one in control of what happens at every stage, I end up at a point of no return when things happen regardless of her demands and I cannot prevent the 'outcome'......

Each of the three parts are special and each cannot exist without the others. i.e. The session would not be anything like as good without the build-up and anticipation (she is a brillant actress and I am really made to feel that the Mistress is not available, and only with the Receptionist asking the Dominatrix to make time to see me, will I be lucky)... i.e. She is always able to convince "The Bitch" to grant me a session, but each time I fear I might not be lucky and will go away still in need... The session is always great and She takes me to my limit and almost over. The end result is well earned but a real releif.

Ben

[yummymeusli]

What a fascinating thread and thank you jaybo for starting it.

For me it started as a seduction technique. My husband was married to a vanilla lady and I was a sweet innocent virgin but over a long period of just chatting learned of his 'foible' so used a willingness to indulge to get into his knickers.

It didn't take long for me to become addicted and at first I think there was guilt being assuaged over nicking someone else's partner but as she's now re-married and thanks me every time we meet as she's with her soulmate the guilt can no longer be a factor. I do love the power one has as a spankee as it's the subs who are in control and that goes for the other ministrations I always seem to enjoy but most of all it's the endorphin rush so it's a kind of forbidden fruit/legal/illegal high with a lump of sexual tension and, sometimes, sexual relief thrown in.

The part that truly mystifies me however, is the fear factor. The butterflies in the tummy ought by rights to no longer exist for an old hand like me but without them I don't think it would work. The chemistry and the chemical reaction just wouldn't be there.

Being naked -the state I usually end up in - whilst ones spanker is dressed is a thrill, being admired is lovely, close contact is erotically very stimulating and I love having an 'effect' on a man's equipment but after many years deliberating the subject I've reached the conclusion that the best thing to do is to just enjoy it.

The only worry I have is that things are gradually becoming more and more extreme (as you'll note if you read my blog posts). My threshold is seemingly on an ever-increasing trajectory and what I used to find too painful to bear now doesn't reach the parts that need to be reached. There's a little voice deep down inside me that says because I've made a pact with the devil I must be evil because I so enjoy dancing to his tune.
YM

[jaybo]

I think there is a weird part of me that enjoys the guilty feelings and spanking for want of a better word purges them ,I have often considered seeking advice but where the hell do you go is there a guilty spankers anonymous, plus I am twenty plus years into my marriage and am so Scared of my kink destroying what I have got which is in no way perfect but my God I don't want to be alone separated from my kids,it took ages for me to come clean to my wife but she said she couldn't bring herself to beat me as its just not in her nature , I have had a couple of nice sessions so now I have rough idea what I am getting into but the bloody guilt does my head in, plus self beating hard as a rock ,beaten by someone else floppy hmm

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Sorry Ben I meant to comment that sounds like an experience with all the bells and whistles ...just wow! Scary though?

[yummymeusli]

Jaybo
Just some random thoughts.

My better half (Hubby) has always said that guilt is something invented by the Church and those others wanting to control one.

I slightly disagree and a dictionary definition has it as "Mental obsession with idea of having done wrong". If one has actually done something wrong then it's fine and dandy to feel guilty so now one has to decide whether what you are doing is wrong and to do that one must examine the motivation. It sounds as though your life without spanking would be intolerable and so, would probably lead to the very outcome you fear - the break up of your marriage. In a rather wonderfully honest way it could be argued that far from feeling guilty you should be very proud of the fact that you are primarily concerned with the well-being of your family and are acting accordingly.

Some might argue that such a train of thought is a bit of a too happy a coincidence but I do think there's every reason not to feel guilty as it certainly doesn't seem that you are doing anything wrong; you didn't ask to yearn for the things you crave.

That'll be two cents please
YM
xx

I think there is a weird part of me that enjoys the guilty feelings and spanking for want of a better word purges them ,I have often considered seeking advice but where the hell do you go is there a guilty spankers anonymous, plus I am twenty plus years into my marriage and am so Scared of my kink destroying what I have got which is in no way perfect but my God I don't want to be alone separated from my kids,it took ages for me to come clean to my wife but she said she couldn't bring herself to beat me as its just not in her nature , I have had a couple of nice sessions so now I have rough idea what I am getting into but the bloody guilt does my head in, plus self beating hard as a rock ,beaten by someone else floppy hmm

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Sorry Ben I meant to comment that sounds like an experience with all the bells and whistles ...just wow! Scary though?

[jaybo]

Thanks yummy, as for the two cents...can I owe you?

[Titanites]

"owe you?" Compound interest of course!

I think both Yummy and "Mr. Meusli" have a point. Although the Church did not invent guilt, which I believe is a necessary and natural emotion to try to control urges to harm others and to make reparations afterwards, the organisation found guilt and fear convenient for controlling its flock.

I no longer believe I will find a suitable spanking play-mate here or via a magazine like ITC - any more than I will ever find a future wife from a dating service - but part of my desire to be spanked for my failings springs from what is either guilt for having them or frustration at their results. I am not sure which; perhaps a bit of both, though I should say my spanking desires are erotic too.

Quite a number of spankees have a somewhat similar drive - discipline and a firm hand in a therapeutic manner, but the erotic drive is undeniable. Otherwise you might just as well ask to be reprimanded without further action. Perhaps this twin drive is necessary; each aspect bolstering the other.