female needs taking in hand

[cat]

im shaz and in need of a good thrashing.im cheeky and answer back.so i need to be chastized followed by a dose of the strap and slipper and a otk spanking to bring me back in to line.email me so we can talk and see what you can do for me.

[anarchistic_masochist]

Only when they've been roasted or casseroled! Leave the other to you wild men up there over the Border- with no television, you've got to pass the time somehow! Saw a whole flock when I was up there, that had a stunning resemblance to you! Proud father,eh?!

TDH

Oh my God, you two are too much! I've never laughed so much in my whole life. Nice to see that Covspank can lighten up a little, instead of being his usual austere, draconian self! Quality....

*Munches on over-sized box of popcorn and enjoys the show*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Oh dear! How does that saying go "Little things..."? You are that annoying person, present in every audience, who insists on laughing louder than everyone else, and in a manner guaranteed to grate, aren't you? Well, you can stop laughing now, because I've returned to "my usual austere, draconian self ", although I have to confess to a faint, momentary flicker of a smile passing across my lips, as I contemplated you choking on your over-sized box of popcorn!

TDH

Well, to be honest Sir, it doesn't take a lot to annoy you. It's not my intention to irk anyone. Excuse me for being happy! Mama Cass (from the Mamas and Papas) choked to death on a ham sandwich - did you object to their happy songs? Did you use your demonic powers to hex her as a result? *smiles*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Never heard of her, them or any of their songs! If you consider their songs to be "happy", then I'm sure that I would object to them- on principle!! There's a lesson for us all- not to talk( or sing) with your mouth full! Another ham sandwich, Cherry?

TDH

You've never heard of...? Unbelievable! Massive 1960's band - you were bound to have heard them on the radio when you were a kid. I'd post you a YouTube link, but you probably wouldn't thank me for it. Handel and Litzt more your style then?

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Not only would I not thank you for it, I shouldn't know what to do with it if you did! Handel is alright- a bit too popular for my taste; Litzt, I've never heard of - if you mean Liszt, no I don't like him particularly! I'd stick with the Mummy's and the Daddy's if I were you- easier to spell!

TDH

Hold the front page:

"Pop Culture Makes Covspank Fly Off The Handel!" - should've been a tabloid journalist. That would really raise your blood pressure, I'd imagine!

I do mean Liszt, yeah. *Blushes* C'mon, Sir, "Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2" is brilliant! There was a Tom and Jerry Cartoon, called "The Cat Concerto" that used that piece as the soundtrack. Absolutely hilarious. You'd hate it "on principle," I'm sure! It actually won an Oscar in the 40's. I suppose after a major war, the whole world needed a good laugh!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Well, you have all the qualifications for being a tabloid journalist- an inability to spell(you might even make it onto the Guardian!); an inability to get your facts straight; a severe dose of verbal diarrohea; and, the ability to write a great deal, whilst saying nothing of any importance!

TDH

Aw Sir, even by your standards, that's pretty harsh! My spelling isn't that bad. Admittedly, it could be better, and I almost die of shame when you point out an error. Granted, I do waffle a bit and yes, I know I've got things wrong on occasion, but as for "not saying anything of any importance," sorry Sir, I have to disagree. I've contributed a lot to these forums and many have complimented me on the points I've raised. With all due respect, Sir, I think you're being a tad unfair.

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Hobgoblin. Dare I ask?

It's a dark ale made by the Wytchwood Brewery. Lovely stuff! How could you not know that?!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

You would certainly not answer me back and be cheeky.

I just did! So there! *Blows raspberry*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

...it's because you've let Cherry get away with it for so long, that she now thinks she can do as she pleases! Do I have to do everything?
TDH

Oh my good God, I do not like the sound of that!!!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

.
...Dont you worry about Cherry, she knows whats coming.

*wails in despair*

Yes, Sir...but I wish to hell, I didn't!!!

C x

P.S. This thread's entitled "female needs taking in hand" - looks like I am that female! Come in, number six, your time is up... *sighs in resignation*