CP for beginners! Well maybe not

[ChilternPete]

COMMUNICATION & PATIENCE


Yes ok, they were not the words you expected, but for my money and I am fairly experienced now, they are the words that all concerned should pay more attention to, indeed I tend to suggest to newcomers, that if these are not evident you are talking to the wrong person.
Without communication
How does the Top know what you seek, how you think, what your limits are and how you want things to be handled? As the bottom if you can not talk to the Top and chat informally about your wishes, your feelings about this, what you want to include, or exclude, how is this going to work out?
You really should feel that the person on the other end is listening carefully to what you have to say. You may not wish them to pay any attention to your “wishes” later, but now they simply need to learn about you.
Without Patience
Then a prospective partner may not be whom you expect, or what you expect.
No one should feel under pressure to meet straight away, the right time for them is when they are ready and not before. This is absolutely essential for newbies and to be a bit sexist, why does a female Top/bottom want to hurry, she has enough choice, to take her time and make sure the partner is right.
My suggestion to all would be to feel comfortable (grin yes I know) about meeting someone and not let yourself be pressured into something you are not ready for. Despite what “Sir this” or “Lady that” may say, you drive the agenda at this point, maybe not later, but then you would not want that would you?

It is all about the bottom after all!

[spankandy]

I agree with your comments but may I add a cautionary tale of my own. Some years ago I met a 'lady'. We had exchanged many emails and spoken often on the phone. All seemed good so I agreed to visit her. When I arrived it was immediately obvious that her photo was a few years out of date and she was a size 16 and not the 12 that she had claimed. Not a problem in itself as I happen to like larger ladies but if she had lied about these facts what else? Despite these qualms I did stay and enjoyed the spanking I got but overall the meeting was a disaster. With hindsight I should have left immediately and this is what I would advise any bottom to do. There are a lot of good, considerate people out there and you'd be best to find one and leave the others alone.