Jokes

[teacher]

Late one afternoon, a Vicar was driving along a country road and crashed into a ditch.
This Farmer stopped and asked, "Sir, are you okay?"
The Vicar said, "Yes, I had the wild Lord riding with me."
The Farmer said, "Well, you better let him ride with me because you're going to kill him!"

[MasterJimmy]

I know so many ancient jokes:

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one....
But it takes a very long time....
And the light bulb must really want to change.

[red hand]

i staggered out of bed this morning wearing only my boxers and went to the kitchen for my usual black coffee to kick start the day.
the wife said in a commanding voice "get them off" i thought my luck was in.
however i was soon crestfallen as she was just about to start the washing machine.

[thelastcaress]

There's a chap comes into my local with his pet rabbit. Each day at five he comes in orders a pint for himself and a toastie for the rabbit. A different toastie each day, cheese and tomato on Monday, cheese and onion Tuesday so on.
Anyway he'd been doing this for ages. As long as I've been going there I've seen him in with his rabbit. We were all taken aback when he came in one day without the rabbit.

"He died this morning " he told us. "Vets are saying it was mixing-my-toasties." ☺