Should non-reply-ers face some sort of sanction...

[happygolucky]

Most of us have, at some point or another, whacked off (behave!) an email or a PM to someone we think is ideally suited to our needs only to receive, well, not a dickie bird, jack shit, tidily squat in reply. Well there are sanctions that can be applied with the most obvious being posting the fact to a forum. Alternatively there are other sanctions such as a very short term ban, a medium term ban and ultimately a complete ban, there are reputation points that could be deducted and the hierarchy of reputations could be expanded to accommodate this. There's only a limited amount we can do as it's not bespoke software but something could be installed.

Obvious problems are policing inevitable abuse of any such system, the fact that it will take more time - mine at least. But the fact that such a system exists might encourage those errant fellows and felines (or lazy bastards) to actually reply even if it's just to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

I've had several emails and PM's requesting such a thing so let's open it up for debate. Thoughts?

[ladyseeker]

It would be wonderful as we all do get non-reply-ers but I think it might be just too much to administer fairly. After all who do you believe, the protagonist or the responder (or rather non-responder)? I've noticed on some posts there are star type ratings; could that be used in some way to reflect a members responsiveness?

I do remember a user with a username similar or the same as those colourful things that float around the flowers on a bright summers' day who was 'outed' very gently by other members saying to beware and (s)he pretty soon deserted the field so peer pressure might be best.

Just my thoughts

[Titanites]

The spanking-contact magazine ITC has a policy of banning advertisers who habitually do not reply to respondents despite their playing fair by enclosing an SAE.

Whether that could work here is another matter!

There are of course genuine reasons why the hoped-for reply does not show, and in my experience even penfriendships can end unexpectedly. You can't of course press the point because you don't know the reason: the other party may be very ill or have even passed away; or has been caught out by a partner or other who has given an ultimatum. If that seems morbid I did know a hard-BDSM enthusiast (not my scene) who died from a heart-attack, presumably risking friends or relatives discovering his penchant to their distress or embarrassment.

There is a post on this site from a user who had abruptly "left the scene" and wanted to close the account.

So while not replying (in any contact or dating service) even if to decline politely is the height of bad manners, there could be a real reason for the unexpected silence.

[Collingwood]

If a fellow sounds very interesting, I reply to his advert/profile/whatever , he doesn't respond, isn't it ultimately his choice not to? Good manners cost nothing and yes he should really respond even if it's a polite 'no thanks'. Personally I respond even if it's a just to say' thank you for your interest but I don't think that it's going to work'.... But that's the way I wish to conduct myself , I've got no right to impose my standards on anyone else.
But if it is a condition of subscribing to a magazine or web forum that all messages are responded to then I'd back whatever the editors /web hosts decide. Magazines & web forums don't appear by magic, they are created due to the goodwill of someone taking the initiative and devoting their free time to achieve this. Their rules take precedence.

[Titanites]

I quite agree. There's also the risk that a high failure rate could harm the agent's reputation. At least a web-site such as this allows discussions etc so even if you don't receive any personal replies, or your responding fails, you can still find soul-mates with whom to chat safely and beyond the constraints of geographical distance and differences in predilections that may otherwise make you incompatible for physical meetings.

Good manners cost nowt beyond a simple text message as you suggest, or as I use, "... but I'm not really what you're looking for".

Putting foot in other boot, I became rapidly very disillusioned with even the ordinary dating ads in the paper because those services thrive on advertisements failing!