female needs taking in hand

[cat]

im shaz and in need of a good thrashing.im cheeky and answer back.so i need to be chastized followed by a dose of the strap and slipper and a otk spanking to bring me back in to line.email me so we can talk and see what you can do for me.

[anarchistic_masochist]

Only when they've been roasted or casseroled! Leave the other to you wild men up there over the Border- with no television, you've got to pass the time somehow! Saw a whole flock when I was up there, that had a stunning resemblance to you! Proud father,eh?!

TDH

Oh my God, you two are too much! I've never laughed so much in my whole life. Nice to see that Covspank can lighten up a little, instead of being his usual austere, draconian self! Quality....

*Munches on over-sized box of popcorn and enjoys the show*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Oh dear! How does that saying go "Little things..."? You are that annoying person, present in every audience, who insists on laughing louder than everyone else, and in a manner guaranteed to grate, aren't you? Well, you can stop laughing now, because I've returned to "my usual austere, draconian self ", although I have to confess to a faint, momentary flicker of a smile passing across my lips, as I contemplated you choking on your over-sized box of popcorn!

TDH

Well, to be honest Sir, it doesn't take a lot to annoy you. It's not my intention to irk anyone. Excuse me for being happy! Mama Cass (from the Mamas and Papas) choked to death on a ham sandwich - did you object to their happy songs? Did you use your demonic powers to hex her as a result? *smiles*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Never heard of her, them or any of their songs! If you consider their songs to be "happy", then I'm sure that I would object to them- on principle!! There's a lesson for us all- not to talk( or sing) with your mouth full! Another ham sandwich, Cherry?

TDH

You've never heard of...? Unbelievable! Massive 1960's band - you were bound to have heard them on the radio when you were a kid. I'd post you a YouTube link, but you probably wouldn't thank me for it. Handel and Litzt more your style then?

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Not only would I not thank you for it, I shouldn't know what to do with it if you did! Handel is alright- a bit too popular for my taste; Litzt, I've never heard of - if you mean Liszt, no I don't like him particularly! I'd stick with the Mummy's and the Daddy's if I were you- easier to spell!

TDH

Hold the front page:

"Pop Culture Makes Covspank Fly Off The Handel!" - should've been a tabloid journalist. That would really raise your blood pressure, I'd imagine!

I do mean Liszt, yeah. *Blushes* C'mon, Sir, "Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2" is brilliant! There was a Tom and Jerry Cartoon, called "The Cat Concerto" that used that piece as the soundtrack. Absolutely hilarious. You'd hate it "on principle," I'm sure! It actually won an Oscar in the 40's. I suppose after a major war, the whole world needed a good laugh!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Well, you have all the qualifications for being a tabloid journalist- an inability to spell(you might even make it onto the Guardian!); an inability to get your facts straight; a severe dose of verbal diarrohea; and, the ability to write a great deal, whilst saying nothing of any importance!

TDH

Aw Sir, even by your standards, that's pretty harsh! My spelling isn't that bad. Admittedly, it could be better, and I almost die of shame when you point out an error. Granted, I do waffle a bit and yes, I know I've got things wrong on occasion, but as for "not saying anything of any importance," sorry Sir, I have to disagree. I've contributed a lot to these forums and many have complimented me on the points I've raised. With all due respect, Sir, I think you're being a tad unfair.

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Oh dear, you'll have me weeping into my cocoa!

TDH

With squirty cream and marshmallows? :D:D

[anarchistic_masochist]

That sounds far too decadent for one as austere and draconian as you make me out to be!

TDH

Everyone's entitled to spoil themselves now and again!

[anarchistic_masochist]

Aw, feeling a bit poorly then? Shall I call for the nurse? *sniggers*

[anarchistic_masochist]

There's nothing wrong with me that walloping an impertinent "Sub" wouldn't put right!! I wonder who's available....??

TDH

Surely you don't mean me Sir! It would be the silliest reason ever for a spanking if that was the case - marshmallow related banter! I sense Graham Chapman in military garb making an appearance again..."Right, stop that!" etc.

[anarchistic_masochist]

Take a leaf out of my book, and learn to be a little more self-deprecating and modest!!!

TDH

Self-deprecating? Modest?! You??! HA HA HAAA!!!! :D

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Oh dear! I hope that you're not going to allow your postings to slide to the level of snide comment and mere abuse, Cherry!! Yes, I've always tried to make self-deprecation and modesty my two guiding principles. Look and learn, Cherry! Look and learn!

TDH

Abuse Sir? Wouldn't dream of it! Sarcasm, maybe. Cheekiness? Definately! I thought being pedantic and grumpy were your two guiding principles, but saying that Sir, you've taught me a lot already, so I'm more than happy to "look and learn"!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

What you refer to as being pedantic, I would say is a desire for accuracy; what you call being grumpy, I would call an irritation with those who fail to achieve the standards I set- a failure usually brought about through being slapdash and careless. Could that be the reason for the spelling mistake in your posting?

TDH

Yes Sir. I spelt "definitely" wrong. Sorry Sir... :(

Does anyone achieve the standards you set? I would hazard a guess that not many do!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Food for thought indeed, Sir. I found myself nodding in agreement as I read your post. I too, encounter hideous grammatical errors everywhere - my pet hates are people confusing "your" and "you're" and the incorrect use of "there", "their" and "they're". It drives me bonkers! Then Iget accused of being a "grammar nazi"! I know I've teased you a bit for being pedantic but if I'm being honest, I'm actually glad that you do desire accuracy - it's thanks to you that I don't spell "believe" and "definitely" incorrectly anymore!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Let's get back to spanking shall we people?
Most of the tree dweller's have moved on from here.
Bad speller's of the World untie.
:D:D:D:D:D:D Six of the best.


"Bad speller's (sic.) of the world untie"? Were you trying to be ironic? *sniggers*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

I think that the word you want is "sarcastic", and the answer is Yes! * raises eyes heavenward in despair*
TDH

Aw, be fair Sir - Westy's not exactly renowned for his literacy, is he?

C x

[anarchistic_masochist]

I should not wish to be in your shoes when Westey reads that tomorrow!
TDH

He'd have to travel all the way down from Scotland for starters. I doubt that he could read a train timetable, if I'm being honest! :D

C x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Yes I was trying to be ironic young Cherry. Oh dear.
You are one cheeky Mare who needs taught a lesson in manners. You should report to Cov immediately for a session with his Dragon. I cannot believe the insolence from you. Do you think you are able to sort her out Cov?
:eek:

Aw, come off it! You love it really! I'm sure he's got bigger fish to fry than me! (At least, I hope he has! :eek:)

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Cov and I were talking earlier. We three seem to be the only ones on here at the moment.
I have an offer to sign for British Spanking for just over a million pounds.
I am seriously considering it as there are more females on that site.
I would pop on here on Fridays just to make sure you two are behaving.
Cherry, I have a meeting in Rugby the week after next. It cant be far from you and I suggest you meet me for a session. :eek:Cov, I will buy you a beer.

Hi Westy

Sent you a PM. You're right - Rugby isn't that far away. If you're getting a round in, Sir, mine's a pint of Hobgoblin! :D

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Hobgoblin. Dare I ask?

It's a dark ale made by the Wytchwood Brewery. Lovely stuff! How could you not know that?! :D

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

You would certainly not answer me back and be cheeky.
:eek:

I just did! So there! *Blows raspberry*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

...it's because you've let Cherry get away with it for so long, that she now thinks she can do as she pleases! Do I have to do everything?
TDH

Oh my good God, I do not like the sound of that!!! :eek:

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

.
...Dont you worry about Cherry, she knows whats coming. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:


*wails in despair*

Yes, Sir...but I wish to hell, I didn't!!!

C x

P.S. This thread's entitled "female needs taking in hand" - looks like I am that female! Come in, number six, your time is up... *sighs in resignation*

[anarchistic_masochist]

I think that your boat is about to be torpedoed below the water line! If you're wailing now, what are you going to like when you meet Doris?
TDH

Doris, Sir? Who's going to introduce me to her? *trembles*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Sure you're up to it, Westey? We don't want you pegging out with the job half done!
TDH

The prospect of being spanked by either of you is equally terrifying!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

*...stands open-mouthed and ashen faced while she watches this bizarre game of ping-pong between Cov and Westey...it starts to dawn on her that she has really gone too far this time and that there is no turning back. All she can do is watch in horror as her fate is decided...*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

I am pleased that you are beginning to come round to our way of thinking.
:p

Yes, Sir. :(

[anarchistic_masochist]

Nobody, not even Lovey or the Looper, could possibly think like you, Westey! "Your way of thinking" is just too wacky for words!
TDH

So's mine, Sir. I think that's why we get on so well! :D

[anarchistic_masochist]

I remember my schoolday's well.
Behind the bikeshed smoking and drinking and touching up the girls.

God I miss that Janitor's job.

Oh Sir, that's brilliant!!! :D:D:D *laughs raucously*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

On the basis of what evidence do you make the assertion that "everyone else likes my jokes". The only one I've seen laughing is Fruit pie- or should that be Fruit cake??!!
TDH

Fruit cake...Oh, nice!! Make that a fruit 'n' nut cake, with a free double lobotomy and ten rolls of rubber wallpaper with every purchase! Cuckoo! Wibble! Boing!!!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Am about to ring Broadmoor regarding juliesylvia- do you want me to mention you as well?
TDH

*sits with two rubber-tipped pencils up both nostrils and a pair of underpants on her head a la "Blackadder goes Forth"*

Oh no Sir - I'm perfectly sane!

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Juliesylvia thinks the same! I'm sure that there's enough evidence in her posting to have her sectioned!!
TDH

*Hurridly discards aforementioned underpants and pencils, clears throat and nods in agreement.*

Yes Sir - I quite agree! :D

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Algonania must have had his clean-up crew here again - juliesylvia posted a very abusive comment here earlier on - really shocking....

Cherry x

[happygolucky]

Yes it was removed as inappropriate.

Regards

[anarchistic_masochist]

Has the posting from Julia what's his face been removed? I cant see it.
I believe you had something to say about me. Please drop a line.

It wasn't about you Sir - it was a foul mouthed rant at Cov.

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

I meant to comment on the story you posted.
Very verry impressive.

Well done you.

*Blushes* Aww, shucks! Thanks Sir. :D

Cherry x

P.S. (Which one? Drunk and Disorderly or A Costly Miscalculation ?)

[anarchistic_masochist]

Actually both.
:)

Cool! :)

Did you read the Flashback sequence? (Part 7?) I was going to go straight to the P.E. scene and then thought I'd better flesh out Elizabeth's character, and it just came from there.

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

.

...And It's still Sir, dont forget it.
:eek:

Of course, Sir. I do apologise. :)

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Ok,
You are on a tad early today. Are you bunking off?

No, Sir. I am not bunking off.

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Well explain to me why you are on here so early.
It's unusual.

Mr. Westey can be very nosey sometimes! :D *giggles*

\m/:)\m/

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

How about as the lecherous old caretaker, always caught hanging around the girl's changing rooms??!!
TDH

Possessive singular, Sir? Surely the changing rooms are used by more than one girl?

*Ducks and dodges blackboard rubber that's hurled across the room.*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

This is not your "bog standard comprehensive"- it is a very exclusive private school, where each pupil has several changing rooms, for their sole use!! They have a policy, of employing sad unfortunates in positions such as that occupied by Westey. It is a policy that I fear they will come to regret!
My blackboard rubbers contain tracking devices- you can duck as much as you like- you will not succeed in dodging!!
TDH

Ah. My apologies, Sir. I did indeed go to a "bog standard comprehensive," and as such, I do not know any different.

I didn't know 'Q' had branched out into supplying gadgets for headmasters; but I thought tracking devices merely traced people's movements, unless you actually mean that your board rubbers contain heat-seeking homing devices, kinda like the ones used in warfare....ARGHH!!!!!

* Cherry is stopped abruptly in her tracks, as a now rather irate TDH hurls one of the aforementioned board rubbers across the room, striking Cherry square in the forehead!*

Cherry x

[anarchistic_masochist]

Hey you two whats going on? It's very quiet on here at the moment we need to liven it up a bit.

You haven't been 'round for a while, Sir. The forum's been empty without you! :)

C x