Nobody prepared to accommodate

[peterlondon]

It seems that nobody is prepared to accommodate, so we aren't getting anywhere are we?

[borocub]

i can accom, but by the time i've found out what they want, it a trust thing. I don't give over my control to lightly.

[Auntie Susie]

15th March from 10am-5pm in Barnet School Room please email Auntie for more info looking for nephews and nieces all welcomed refreshments included.:)

[borocub]

well thanks but i like one to ones with guys. As i can host but i'm very careful how i invite to my home.

[peterlondon]

I think thats the problem, I've found people often come across so blooming pushy that I get alarmed and decide no way could I risk my safety by letting that one know where I live.

[borocub]

yes ur so right, i have had some guys that wanted to beat me to a pulp. Or they will not give u a photo of what they look like. It's a matter of weeding out the nut jobs.

[peterlondon]

Oh so true.
But why cannot people accommodate?
Is it that the majority of the people on here have somebody at home and hence want to 'play away'.

[borocub]

i think that is part of it. I find it difficult to find guys i trust. I'm on another site witch i do get more session from. Mainly the guys are from newcastle. I would like to meet a guy closer, maybe a bear as i do like big built daddy bears.

[skinhead]

Oh so true.
But why cannot people accommodate?
Is it that the majority of the people on here have somebody at home and hence want to 'play away'.

Having been on the CP scene for about 20 years in London, a lot of people are either married, with a boyfriend or partner or in a lot cases simply can't do it due to the fact that many people in London live in flats and have problems with sound insulation. I have had spanking sessions in my flat and know that neighbours have heard it!

Many people use the two clubs based in London, one of them even allows a private to be used for people who cant accomadate. See http://www.clubcp.com for details.
AR

[borocub]

well there is not much up here in the northeast. But that seams to be the case any way.

[peterlondon]

I went to clubcp (if that's the one at Vauxhall) and thought it horrible. Didn't find any private rooms, only darkened rooms with no doors and guys outside peering in. Not my scene at all.

[borocub]

i've been told that bois and sirs cp club is good.

[KATIE TV]

I have been a Pro. Dom/sub TV.(I charge for my services) for a number of years and yes most of my clients are playing away from home so can’t accomadate. But in all those years I have only had a couple that I would not see again, It is a shame that people can not be more open about what they like to do.

[borocub]

it would be good if people would be open and state what they want and age they like to have a session with. I'm always up front and i now what i like and don't like. Also respect limits.

[borocub]

also it would be better as well if the message would not start with 'do you need a good thrashing'. As respect is earned not expected.

[mike_redbotham]

also it would be better as well if the message would not start with 'do you need a good thrashing'. As respect is earned not expected.

Surely, it is a question of vocabulary and perception. One man's "good thrashing" is another's gentle smacking.
There is a huge range of desires out there.
I find it useful to ask potential spankees what they are looking for on a scale of 1 - 10 where 1 is playful patting and 10 is drawing blood (which I would hate to do).

Of course, experienced tops know just how far to go but new bottoms do not know how experienced prospective tops are.

I am able to accommodate but, unless I have been talking to someone on line for a considerable time, always insist on meeting for the first time at a neutral, public venue such as a pub or supermarket cafe. At least this gives the opportunity for an instant assessment and a possible way-out if something seems wrong.

[borocub]

Surely, it is a question of vocabulary and perception. One man's "good thrashing" is another's gentle smacking.
There is a huge range of desires out there.
I find it useful to ask potential spankees what they are looking for on a scale of 1 - 10 where 1 is playful patting and 10 is drawing blood (which I would hate to do).

Of course, experienced tops know just how far to go but new bottoms do not know how experienced prospective tops are.

I am able to accommodate but, unless I have been talking to someone on line for a considerable time, always insist on meeting for the first time at a neutral, public venue such as a pub or supermarket cafe. At least this gives the opportunity for an instant assessment and a possible way-out if something seems wrong.
I'm total agreement with you. If a guy gets pushy, when i'm not sure if i want to meet him then i call it off. As it is me getting the spanking, as i'm not into long lasting marks or drawing blood.

[anarchistic_masochist]

I always make it clear that I can't accommodate. My place is very, very small indeed! Luckily, the Tops that have spanked me have either paid for a hotel or are able to put me up (or should that be "put up with me"? Heh heh!)

Cherry x

[jennysub]

Firstly why should someone accomodate?

If you need it that bad and cannot accomodate yourself then sort your own problem out by finding it elsewhere, not whingeing no one else wants to do or risk what you cannot do or do not want to risk.

I run, in my other form, a once a month detention class for between 4-7 pupils, all of them known to me, all of them "safe", all of them I know will not abuse th situation. anyone else, whether its me receiving or giving, sorry, you find the venue.

There are plenty of places that for a fee, a lot of times a really modest fee, provide facilities. It suprises me, as someone associated with the professional scene, that people will happily attend a party, £135 - £175 per head, food, drink, safety, discretion, lots of butts to spank, guaranteed satisfaction, and be quite happy yet on a one to one will say "I'll pop over, you don't know me, but let me into your flat to commit an assault upon your body, provide me with coffee etc.... " and be suprised when the answer is "..er... no thanks".

[borocub]

Firstly why should someone accomodate?

If you need it that bad and cannot accomodate yourself then sort your own problem out by finding it elsewhere, not whingeing no one else wants to do or risk what you cannot do or do not want to risk.

I run, in my other form, a once a month detention class for between 4-7 pupils, all of them known to me, all of them "safe", all of them I know will not abuse th situation. anyone else, whether its me receiving or giving, sorry, you find the venue.

There are plenty of places that for a fee, a lot of times a really modest fee, provide facilities. It suprises me, as someone associated with the professional scene, that people will happily attend a party, £135 - £175 per head, food, drink, safety, discretion, lots of butts to spank, guaranteed satisfaction, and be quite happy yet on a one to one will say "I'll pop over, you don't know me, but let me into your flat to commit an assault upon your body, provide me with coffee etc.... " and be suprised when the answer is "..er... no thanks".
If i may ask do you charge a fee. I looked at the commercial servies on here most are in london. I use my place for meets, as i can't trav. I have said no thanks to quite a few guys, but i have made some great mates.

[subsimon]

I generally cannot accomidate, as I have kids, and a wife who does indulge me (the wife that is), but does make the situation more complicated. However there are plenty of local travel lodges etc for £50 a day, so if needed its not impossible. Also once I get to know people and build up trust, the situation may change.

Si

[borocub]

i do have get togethers now and then for my spanking mates. We have the chance just to get together have a bit of fun spanking only. All i ask is they bring a bottle, also i ask a few new guys that find it hard to meet. Once my partener and i live together we can have regular soical meets.

[leedstights]

I guess it all comes down to the individual with this kind of thing, and I, for one, fully respect anybodys decisions and choices when it comes down to accommodating. After all , its our unique circumstances that dictate our decisions.

For me, I don't see the problem. I wouldn't want to be in somebody elses house while being spanked. As a spankee I feel that by being spanked in my own home that I have a level of control, and that the visitor would respect being in somebody elses house and respect that.

Ultimately, we are all adults, who share this interest,we didnt stumble upon this 'spanking' website, we consciously 'searched' for it, in the hope we find others who share the same interest, if we cant trust each other, then we really are goosed.

It's easy to imagine 'worst case scenarios', but the reality (in my experience) is that seldom , if at all, do things go wrong, obviously working on the proviso that things are discussed prior and that those involved are totally comfortable with proceedings.

For me, 'accommodating' only adds to the whole scenario, opening the door and inviting another man into my house, knowing and being fully aware of what he is about to do to me, it enhances the receptive, submissive mood in which I am when doing anything like this.

It's all about feeling totally comfortable and hopefully the person visiting can feel comfortable too, after all, I am willing to bet even 'doms' would feel nervous visiting somebody else.

Theres always somebody who wants to make money out of whatever given situation, and to be fair, theres those who are willing to pay, but , for me, definitely not, no charges either way. If two people can't arrive at a mutually acceptable situation and have to resort to paying ridiculous fees to vent their anxities, well, enough said.

Just my opinion obviously, based upon my personality and circumstances.

[borocub]

I guess it all comes down to the individual with this kind of thing, and I, for one, fully respect anybodys decisions and choices when it comes down to accommodating. After all , its our unique circumstances that dictate our decisions.

For me, I don't see the problem. I wouldn't want to be in somebody elses house while being spanked. As a spankee I feel that by being spanked in my own home that I have a level of control, and that the visitor would respect being in somebody elses house and respect that.

Ultimately, we are all adults, who share this interest,we didnt stumble upon this 'spanking' website, we consciously 'searched' for it, in the hope we find others who share the same interest, if we cant trust each other, then we really are goosed.

It's easy to imagine 'worst case scenarios', but the reality (in my experience) is that seldom , if at all, do things go wrong, obviously working on the proviso that things are discussed prior and that those involved are totally comfortable with proceedings.

For me, 'accommodating' only adds to the whole scenario, opening the door and inviting another man into my house, knowing and being fully aware of what he is about to do to me, it enhances the receptive, submissive mood in which I am when doing anything like this.

It's all about feeling totally comfortable and hopefully the person visiting can feel comfortable too, after all, I am willing to bet even 'doms' would feel nervous visiting somebody else.

Just my opinion obviously, based upon my personality and circumstances.
Yes a few doms have felt the nerves too, but you do make very valid points.

[Naked and waiting]

Well mr Peter London. You are not prepared to accommodate and I have offered in the past and you refused. Pick the bones out of that one mate!

Time waster!

[borocub]

Well mr Peter London. You are not prepared to accommodate and I have offered in the past and you refused. Pick the bones out of that one mate!

Time waster!
Big cat fight, canes at six paces. :eek:

[jennyTv]

I could accomadate , I'm single , have room etc but the most important thing for me is trust.. I wouldn't invite anyone to my home on the strength of a few words exchanged on a website. I would prefer to meet first or have a recomendation from someone I trust.

I have been accused of being a timewaster by folk wishing to see me when I've refused. Invariably we swap a few messages ,they suggest a date/time and take umbrage when I decline their offer.

For me these things take time to arrange and there is nothing more off putting than someone getting pushy/impatient.

Haaving said all that is there anything more exciting than meeting a dom for the first time ???

[Caribou 2]

I have been accused of being a timewaster by folk wishing to see me when I've refused.

Me too - I just ignore it.

I'm always polite, honest and up-front but that's not good enough for some people, they turn nasty and try and blacken one's name on the forum. At the end of the day, if I'm not happy I will not take it any further, whether they like it or not. I've also sent photographs of myself to people on the promise of having one of theirs in exchange, but once they've got mine I get nothing in return. I won't be doing that anymore either.

[leedstights]

Got to agree with what's been said here. I had somebody contacting me, via email , and we all know that sending emails back and forth is never gonna go anywhere, there needs to be some level of direct contact, theres plenty of ways of doing this if the folk involved make the effort.

The problem is with so many is just that ,,, they dont make the effort and they have no consideration of other peoples personal circumstances.

They want a fix and they want it quick, which , in my opinion, is just about the worst way to go about things and fraught with danger and problems.

I frequently respond in a negative manner to emails, to see how the other responds. It's amazing how many times a person, who outwardly appears to be intelligent, reliable and sensible, responds in a threatening manner when they suspect that you aren't interested.

I aren't saying these types of people aren't genuine, but I am saying they aren't trustworthy.

Genuine folk respond in an understanding manner, offering alternatives and options, they are usually pretty much in the same boat as yourself and are able to relate to others predicaments.